Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
