She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize