i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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