I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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