How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
