Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
