I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize