The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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