Screwed.edu
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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