my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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