My hair reeks of homosexuality.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.