You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Found the puke drawer
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
