Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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