if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize