AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
