I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize