Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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