he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
