The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
