Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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(210): View more from Texas

hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.

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(330): View more from Ohio

No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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(440): View more from Ohio

This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.

(773): View more from Illinois

You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.

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