Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
