if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize