the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
