you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
nutella sex= disaster
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Terrible idea I love it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
