Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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