You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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