My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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