I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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