So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
