OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
