when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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