fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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