I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
