She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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