im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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