Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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