Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.