the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
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