She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.