Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

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  (918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you? (1-918): Woah. (918): that's not how you spell hell yes. http://tfl.nu/i519
  Replies (56) Good night (7701) Bad night (1476)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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  (770): I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia. http://tfl.nu/25qr
  Replies (14) Good night (2710) Bad night (1464)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.

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  (815): No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real. http://tfl.nu/57ae
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (2417)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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  (443): she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup. http://tfl.nu/y9af
  Replies (16) Good night (5781) Bad night (1153)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.

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  (917): I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus. http://tfl.nu/e2af
  Replies (9) Good night (4321) Bad night (1150)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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  (623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt
  Replies (1) Good night (1759) Bad night (915)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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  (414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud
  Replies (4) Good night (3349) Bad night (1471)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (527)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.

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  (302): You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English. http://tfl.nu/fod6
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (1715)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.

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  (719): I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/5dxo
  Replies (11) Good night (1464) Bad night (678)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

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  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1218) Bad night (778)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.

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  (210): I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers. http://tfl.nu/eiw9
  Replies (8) Good night (1857) Bad night (805)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.

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  (540): Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one. http://tfl.nu/xdjm
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (340)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.

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  (817): I want to just live in between your butt cheeks. http://tfl.nu/apm7
  Replies (14) Good night (605) Bad night (437)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick

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  (502): Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick http://tfl.nu/wl0y
  Replies (6) Good night (278) Bad night (847)

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