she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you inspire me to be a worse person
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember the time you cried about coconuts