He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
