Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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