I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
