Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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