By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
