He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
