evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
