"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
