smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize