It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Terrible idea I love it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
