gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had sex on a roof
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
