some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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