Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
