just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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