you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
