Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
