He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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