he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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