I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
