The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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